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Tales from the Tests 2004
The Fourth Rally of the Tests began under the sunny skies of the
English Riviera in Torquay, competition starting a little later in
Cockington village a mile or so outside the town… and those blue skies
had given way to darkness deep in the woods.
A few crews were
thrown by the need to book into the Time Control in the Cockington Craft
Centre and then rapidly decamp again to the Regularity Start.
The
welcome in Torquay could not have been bettered, Mayor Jenny Falkner
and consort Councillor Alan Falkner delighted to welcome the rally, Alan
had done some sterling work by ensuring the Oddicombe hillclimb had
been cleared of shingle and rocks that the previous works storm had
hurled ashore. Jeremy Dickson must have links with the almighty, even
ensuring good weather.
Gerry Brown changed the Zodiac propshaft
pre-start, while James O’Mahony was the first award winner, collecting a
“I love Torquay” teddy for his newly born son James – at the welcome
dinner at the Imperial Hotel overlooking the lights fringing the
bay…fitting reward for being fastest up the “Odd Job” hillclimb. Tony
Mason entertained the gathered throng, just one of the “personalities”
that would be encountered during the rally…there were more to come.
Earlier in the evening the Fiat Dino Spyder of Michael O’Shea and
Stephen Drake trickled to a stop on the prologue hillclimb after fuel
pump failure, Bob White rather embarrassed to stove in the back of the
Lotus Cortina… while reversing at the BOTTOM of the hill.
Six
tests and a brace of Regularities took crews to Cricket St. Thomas and
lunch…there was no sign of Audrey or Richard DeVere, stars of “To the
Manor Born”, but crews took to the venue in style enjoying a pleasant
lunch in grand surroundings. There had been a few problems on the
opening day, but most crews remained in contention, including the Healey
Sprite of Jocelyn Williams and Janet Lloyd-Jones, which blew the head
gasket on the Thursday “prologue” run, surviving by getting a new gasket
from Phil Swain, and having it fitted by Tony Fowkes and Andy Inskip.
First retirement sadly went to Mike Cornwall and Willy Cave, the Herald
breaking a halfshaft, and the suspension collapsing as a result.
Frank
Fennell rumbled on in the big Merc, thanking his lucky stars to have
made it, as he ran out of fuel en route to the start, despite having
twin tanks in the 300 SE! In the grounds of Cricket St. Thomas feverish
fettling included the Andrew Lane TR4, the electrics being checked out,
the Robin Eyre-Maunsell Rapier Mk.111 having the carbs fine tuned, and
Alastair Caldwell checked out a slight steering tightness in his AC
Aceca, also rather bemused by a clutch that had a life all its own,
disengaging as it saw fit. The latter snag saw the AC stall on the
prologue hillclimb, the master cylinder suspect. Tom Callanan’s TR4 was
wreathed in steam, a slight water pump leak boiling up the engine, but a
cooling lunch break and lots of available water sorted that problem.
The
rally paperwork was obviously even better than even the organisers
realised, Robert Ellis and Willy Cave admitting that they had found
their way from a test using pages intended for previous sections. Peter
Barker got the Mini stuck behind a bus on the first Regularity and then
stopped at the test finish at Powderham Castle…except that it was not
the finish, but some spectators just looking “official”. Earlier
progress on the Hillclimb was equally problematic, the drivers seat
collapsing and Peter staring at the stars for a few heart stopping
moments. It is now propped up with the luggage.
Nigel &
Paula Broderick motored sedately on in the Mercedes 300SE, troubled only
by the car not liking direction changes, and Paula admitting that “the
navigator can’t count.” Robert Harley had a lightened Jaguar – he bought
the Mk2 on E-Bay to do the rally but after the throttle linkages fell
apart, and Peter Banham re-assembled them without needing all the bits
Robert had collected! Robert said “He told me ‘out the way fatty’… and
had them sorted in no time, even giving me the spares.”
Paul
Wignall and Peter Rushforth were juggling batteries on the Alfa
Giulietta Sprint, though it sadly did not sprint far, retiring at the
Holiday Inn with gearbox failure.
Ian Williamson and John
Bayliss had been giving the immaculate – though mud spattered - MG PB
Cream Cracker a shaking, the undertray coming loose and replaced by
Peter & Betty while the crew completed a precautionary spark plug
change. Kenny & Jane MacEwan were finding the road going Alfa GTV a
bit unsuited to rallying, Porsche style handbrake flick attempts not
quite working with a lot less power, but they still found the car a
great drive, especially in good weather…though Kenny admitted to a
momentary lapse, saying “I was still on the continent at one point.”
Michael Whitworth – Riley 1.5 – parked up for lunch, only to realise
they had not done the Test, doing a quick double back, returning with no
brakes! Prior to that Michael was delighted to report that the car –
found under a hedge some four months earlier! – was going strongly with
only a slight mysterious rattle…Later on they managed to hole the sump
but this was repaired with some Isopon and the Riley will restart again
tomorrow morning.
Alan Pettit and Alex Back – Triumph Herald –
inadvertently zero’d the trip by bashing it with a map, and almost sunk
in a ford…saying “These darn Triumphs are not very watertight…” The
Colin Bywater / Mike Wheatley Sunbeam Rapier fought on despite halting
on a few occasions with fuel trouble, as Simon Parson/Trevor Cattermole
reported rapid progress, the Healey Sprite catching the car ahead at
Powderham, and arriving on the finish line alongside it. They had
earlier shunted the drivers side a mite at the hillclimb, and avoided
more dents “because Tony Mason ran out of the way…” They were further
amused by the sight of Kenny MacEwan sprinting, trying – but failing –
to check out what was – or not. under the flying Kilt. and by the Robert
Harley exhortation to Trina at the “Le-mans” style co-driver sprint, as
he yelled “get a move on woman.”… such a way with words.
Adrian
Paye and Anna Lawford were getting used to the pretty Alpine Renault,
the car formerly used as a “sprint” car in France, and this the first
rally for both car and crew together. Ronald & Beryl Gee were
struggling a little in their newly acquired Mercedes 280SL, the car
appearing to have a fuel problem, despite attention from the
Fowkes/Inskip team, and they were later to run for the Friday overnight
halt. A faulty condenser is the prime suspect but locating one in
deepest Somerset is proving difficult.
The run up country to
Porlock – on the A396 – was enlivened by various pheasant shoots, a
noisy preface to the later fireworks, though from the numerous corpses
littering the road it seemed that were more suicides than shot.
As
crews assembled at a – now dark – Porlock and contemplated the twin
ascents of the toll roads, there was a delay caused by flooding…though
thankfully the domestic kind, the rally halting to allow a Plumber to
ascend to administer relief to a burst pipe…who says rally drivers are
selfish. On the descent back to Porlock a superb Refreshment stop –
courtesy of the ladies of the Womens Institute – provided tea, cakes,
sandwiches and strawberry jam & clotted cream scones. Heaven!
Peter
Banham arrived for his tea only to fall foul of the formidable W.I.
“Have you washed your hands young man? “ she said…”Yes” said
Peter…”look”. “Hmm” came the reply “You better do them again.“ Exit one
PB, returning suitably double scrubbed. In the car park Frank Fennell
fitted three Regulators – all new – before he found one that worked, the
Herald of Alan Pettit relocated its exhaust, although Alan remained
confident, as Phil & Carol Swain endured the old Sprite problem of
failed dynamo, plus a broken speedo cable, but the Banhams were – as
ever – resourcefully present to help. Kenny MacEwan had a fan belt
slacken at Porlock, the Alfa losing oil pressure, and lights, and as
Kenny said…”no lights on Porlock with MY eyesight… not a good idea.”
At
the Holiday Inn overnight halt Colin Bywater reported a loss of brakes
and a lack of oil, necessitating a motorway stop for the latter and more
midnight oil at the hotel to fix the brakes. Alastair Caldwell and
Catriona Rings had a night section overshoot, dropping a few minutes,
and a slow pace after a neutral section cost more valuable time. The
Healey Sprite of Jocelyn Williams and Janet Lloyd-Jones stopped alone in
the dark at Porlock, rescued by Tony & Andy and making the Holiday
Inn, while Richard and Jon Sandilands crashed out on the night section,
the Standard 10 pulled back on by Robert and Trina to fight again. The
Jaguar crew had a multitude of problems themselves, going off several
times, and finally crushing the wing onto a tyre. That was solved by
roping the Jag to a gatepost and pulling it out – they must have
listened to Tony Masons story at Torquay… but THEIR gatepost did NOT
come through the screen.
Come the dawn it's onward to Cheddar Gorge… and Chateau Impney, Long Marston, et al.
Leg Two
The
second full day of the Rally of the Tests saw crews with a thirty mile
run out from the Taunton Holiday Inn, allowing a relaxed introduction to
Saturdays sport, and time to sort out any little map queries en route
to the Cheddar Gorge start, and the first Regularity through the rock
faces…
The Riviera sunshine had given way to mist and light
rain, the downpours increasing beyond Bath, but thankfully easing again
as the rally sped North to Chateau Impney.
The night section –
or early evening section, as it finished around 9.00 pm – a day earlier
caused a great deal of fun, though also saw the odd dented panel as the
Devon lanes proved too demanding for some.
Many dramas were
reported in our earlier bulletin, but adding to that news the pretty –
and potent – Renault Alpine of Adrian Paye /Anna Lawford was delayed by a
puncture, not the easiest of tasks on the low slung sportscar. Peter
Barker – Mini number 16 – and Barbara Morris in the Volvo P1800S both
admitted to a wrong slot overnight that saw both needing a turn round in
a farmyard, except that the landowner was having none of it - a lengthy
detour ensued.
The Mini Cooper S of David Keniston and Mike
Evans also dropped a lot of time during the dark hours, the crew
ruefully admitting that they could have prepared better for the rally.
That said even the experts were having a few problems, including Robert
Harley, his E-Bay Jaguar now sporting supporting gaffer tape here and
there, and as he admitted “I’ve done this rally three times in three
different cars, and I’ve crashed every time.” Nonetheless he was still
going… and still smiling.
Colin Bywater and Michael Wheatley now
had the brakes sorted in the Rapier, and were confident about the sump
repair that Peter Banham effected, though trying to avoid the lumpy
stuff on the tests. At the Cheddar Gorge stop they also found the
solution to a nasty wheel wobble… three pounds of good Devon mud inside a
wheel rim after an excursion up a bank did nothing for a smooth ride.
David
MacKay and Tony Davies also confessed to some ditch hooking in the
Triumph TR3A, an off on a left hander bending the steering…they made it
into the Holiday Inn at 1.00 am after another Banham miracle cure. Tony
described the night section as “Typical Devon lanes… it was like a one
eighth scale Rally Bristowe.”
Rumours abounded that Frank
Fennell had crashed his Merc in the hotel car park first thing on
Saturday morning… when asked if he had anything to report at Kemble
Airfield he said "no"… pressed about the car park he said “Oh I though
you meant new news… I always crash in car parks.”
Stephen &
Janice Williams MGB GT also had a fraught night event…the driver
admitted a straight on into rock indiscretion, but thankfully all the
vitals escaped, the damage only cosmetic… The Austin Healey Sprite of
Penelope Pitstop and Muttley – better known as Jocelyn Williams and
Janet Lloyd-Jones fought on, courtesy of Tony Fowkes and Andy Inskip,
who rescued them from the darkness of Porlock Hill after the plugs shook
loose and a fuel filter blocked.
Other minor difficulties
included the Andrew Sharp/James Roberts TR3A shedding the top fastener
off a Weber, but rapid application of tape cured that hitch, water loss a
greater concern but they pressed on. Tom Callanan’s TR4 overheating /
gasket problems were traced to a missing pulley key…a replacement was
being sought and hopefully will enable them to catch up.
Kenny
MacEwan had the tracking fettled on his Alfa, the road machine feeling
the strain a little, but still going well.The Chris & Sue Green MGA
also sported a re-arranged front, Chris confessing to a wet leaves slide
into and onto a roadside bollard. The MG was well and truly stuck, Sue
not able to lend much traction to regain terra firma… her outfit is
certainly fifties and fetching… but high heels are not much good pushing
cars. Finally some brute force from Chris got all wheels on the
tarmacadam…or leaves… and ‘twas away to the woods. A noisy gearbox
proved harder to cure, wrong oil a suspect, but it was still working, so
onward and upward was the plan but alas it was not to be as the gearbox
later expired.
A treat awaited crews at the top of Cheddar
Gorge… Tony Mason at the control with fetching duffle coat… how many of
today’s so called TV stars would you find contributing to the sport like
that ? Well done that man.
A visit to Kemble Airfield proved
popular later in the day, and not only for the excellent “Wings” café…
open runway tests are a good choice and although no-one broke the sound
barrier (as Kemble did in former RAF days) some rapid times were posted.
Sadly not so rapid were Arthur Senior and Colin Francis, their
Riley 1.5 expiring and towed in by the Volvo of Richard and Jo
McAllister. The Riley had lost a cylinder, a cam follower or pushrod
failing, and although Colin faced retirement barely a few miles from his
home, a three cylinder rebuild was affected and a now virtually one
litre – Riley rally went on.
Arthur Kaye was almost taken for an
airfield staff member, being smartly turned out in RAF mufti. The newly
acquired Alfa Giulia of Micky Gabbett had a cut tyre replaced at the
Airfield, and a replacement fan belt…the on board spare was of course
the wrong one, sods law being sod, but Peter Banham to the rescue yet
again…
The Simon Parsons/Trevor Cattermole Sprite had lost
wipers on the earlier test, Simon tall enough to look OVER the screen. A
misfire still plagued the Sprite, various electrical checks ongoing.
The
ex Gatsonides Aston DB2 of Charles Cross was doing better on this
“Tests” than it managed originally with Tom, who shunted it, whilst the
Whitworth/Forrest Riley was rudely overtaken by the Andrew Sharp/James
Roberts TR3A and liberally mud coated, only to get revenge as the TR
exited stage right and through a fence.
As crews slid literally
into Long Marston drag strip rain made the rubber laid down into
emulsion, and cars slid and spun almost without bidding. Alastair
Caldwell almost “wrong sided” the first 360 cone, but recovered, whilst
the Zodiac of Gerry Brown and Zephyr of Adam Wiseberg performed the
biggest and smallest circle respectively around the same cone…
Arthur
Senior belied the three pots on the Riley to drive the test bravely,
whilst James O’Mahony blitzed the drag strip… unfortunately he also took
out the first cone head on, blasting away over the quarter mile with an
addition to the Volvo 122S undertray.
David Gidden and Robert
Ellis almost missed the first (replaced) cone, but did a quick reverse
to do the 360, Neil Wilson and Alan Smith almost repeating the error,
but recovering similarly, as did the Dino of O’Shea and Drake. Michael
and Richard Moss staggered through Long Marston, the Rapier sounding as
though it was firing on one… or two at most, but they made it throug.
The
Cream Cracker MG PB of Ian Williamson / John Bayliss was much more on
song after discovering defunct threads on the SUs, thus unable to cure
richness of the fuel. After cable tying the jets up into place the
supercharged little cracker now has about 20 bhp more and is flying.
At
close of play on Saturday the rally swept into Chateau Impney, with a
final flourish being a test in the famed hotel grounds… as the lights
lit up the famous old building and bathed it in a welcoming warm glow
there was no better a place to be. The “Tests” had arrived, and all was
well with this particular world…
Tomorrow… more of the same, and an earlier finish before the prizegiving celebrations.
Leg Three
The
end of a long and winding road that began far away on the south
coast…there have been problems for quite a few crews – and cars – along
the way, with sunshine giving way to rain, but as the cars took the
ceremonial finish gantry outside Cranage Hall near to Jodrell Bank
Observatory one other observation perhaps summed up this most testing of
rallies…
James O’Mahoney – Volvo 122S – said “We had a great
run… we set some fast test times, and if you look at the record sheets
to see Volvo, Renault Alpine and Porsche then you’ll know how this car
has been going. We had the rear axle come loose, with a bit of rear end
steering as a result, but Peter Banham soon fixed that. The tyre choice
was great too – Avon ZZ’s might look like bicycle tyres but they do the
business. This was the best organised event I’ve ever been on…”
As
crews left the splendour of Chateau Impney for the trek North there was
news that David Emmerson - navigator of Stuart Taits MG C – had been
hospitalised for tests after feeling unwell. The crew were thus obliged
to retire, though better news was that David was finally declared OK,
and able to return home to Basingstoke.
Arthur Senior and Colin
Francis were also both OK though their car had been extremely sick,
lapsing onto three cylinders and eventually to one and a bit into
Chateau Impney, the Riley 1.5 restored to health by new parts and a head
gasket change by Peter & Betty Banham.
James O’Mahoneys
Volvo had the earlier mentioned axle relocated overnight and Micky
Gabbett enjoyed more luck of the Irish, his Alfa having the crankshaft
pulley tightened, forestalling potential disaster.
Andrew Lane –
TR4 – experienced throttle linkage problems on the final day but made
Cheshire, as Chris Pearson and Rob Faulkners Volvo 122S survived carb
o-ring trouble along with a less than perfect exhaust system.
The
Swinnerton military base provided a superb complex of regularity and
test sections, often used for all out special stage events, and
onlookers could have been forgiven for thinking the “Tests” one such,
the enthusiastic pace of the rally… well… enthusiastic. Frank Fennell
ably demonstrated just that, the big Merc hurtling into the final vast
tarmacadam test manoeuvre, but looking rather ungainly…that was because
the throttle links had come apart, and Kevin Savage was hanging on
dearly under the huge 300SE bonnet, but not sparing the horse power. An
on hand Banham rescue service soon had the items replaced, Kevin clearly
relieved at not having to sit in the engine bay all the way to
Cheshire. Charles Graves and Ron Palmer made a success of the pursuit,
their Jaguar XK150 FHC catching the Merc in the test, but Frank - and
Kevin – kept their nerve to keep in front…Frank sagely observed “That’s
why one wears a tie…for the throttle linkage you know.”
Geoff
Breakell and Nigel Raeburn were uncharacteristically hesitant as they
hurled their Jaguar Mk2 into that final arena, but soon got back to
business, the tyres looking like they might just come off the rims, but
no… News came in that the Fiat Dino Spyder had steering difficulties,
and they were later seen on an M6 detour, but made the finish.
Alastair
Caldwell and Fiona Rings were also making expectedly rapid progress in
the red AC, though Alastair felt the power down as a result of a
misfire, despite most onlookers being very impressed with the Aceca
pace…guess when you’ve been at Mclaren F1 you get to want perfection.
Kenny MacEwan was ruing bad luck at the test stop line, his Alfa shaking
a plug lead off on a mid test bump, and forced through on three
cylinders, while Bob White had got used to the short “continental” road
configuration within the NATO training base, and was not totally
convinced that he was back on English roads after the stop line.
John
Rondeau and Dennis Greenslade certainly entertained in their Jaguar
Mk.1, a smiling driver saying “We may not be quick but we go for
spectator value”, though results decried the drivers modesty.
Richard
and Jo McAllister were another crew to entertain, the Irish pairing
adding a new style to stopping astride the finish, making it a tyre
shrieking 45 degree version – but it counted, and deservedly so.
Barbara
Morris and David Shields – Volvo P1800S - affectionately known as
Rodney – emerged from the test concerned about a severe rattle, which
was detected as the front bumper about to fall off. A very appreciative
Barbara observed “Poor Peter…he gets so dirty.” She was not quite so
appreciative of the two Army trucks that at one point looked destined to
meet her on the high speed muddy test, but Marshals had it all under
control. Michael and Richard Moss propelled the Rapier Mk111A well,
although an exhaust motivated stall on the finish line necessitated a
push away out of the firing line, Richard and Jon Sandilands Standard 10
also indecently fast, the little car shedding water courtesy of a pump
seal…hot stuff in more than one way.
As the Banhams moved up
country to rescue Chris Pearsons Volvo after suspension trouble, Tony
Fowkes and Andy Inskip took over, Tony reporting a recovery of a rolled
car out of main road bushes…it was not a rally car however, but a young
couple who seemed to have had an in car dispute, ending up inverted – it
was their lucky day, uninjured and rescued by the rally rescuers.
Michael and Richard Moss emerged from Swinnerton with the Rapier looking
distinctly lop sided after a spring breakage, though Tony & Andy
swiftly sorted that. The little Alpine Renault of Adrian Paye / Anna
Lawford showed its sprint pedigree at Swinnerton, flowing gracefully and
speedily through the tarmacadam section, although the muddy inner
sections were less suited to the low slung French racer.
At the
Cranage Hall finish smiling faces abounded, even when admitting
“indiscretions”. Alastair Caldwell confessed to missing one slot twice,
saying “What a prat.”, Gerry Brown – Ford Zodiac – also regretting a
wrong slot on the first regularity of the final day, but happier with
“FTD” on the first two tests. Bob White was investigating a mounting
breakage in the Lotus Cortina, saying “When I brake the gear lever goes
through the floor”, but also saying “Ah well…it will last the 150 miles
home.”, earlier finishing the second Swinnerton test a few feet left of
the stop line amidst the bushes…that certainly woke the Marshals up.
Arthur Kaye and Geoff Awde recalled an exciting finale, the MG Midget
having a “360” into a muddy field at the final test, as Peter Barker
contemplated a possible class win lost, his Mini missing an intermediate
control early in the day.
Recalling the celebrities out and
about, Porlock had seen no less than Brian Culcheth appearing to support
Neil Wilson (his Porsche ran faultlessly throughout, only needing a cup
of oil)…Brian now runs the village Iron Mongers, and has done for many a
year, so now you know what rally aces do when they retire. The David
Mackay / Tony Davies TR3A completed the last day with no speedo or
halda, Tony calculating by rule of thumb, and keenly awaited seeing if
his thumb was still the right length. The MG PB Cream Cracker crew also
reported a missed junction, a retrace costing time, though spirits were
undimmed as they celebrated with two foaming pints on the bonnet in the
car park. John Rondeau was also pleased to finish, admitting his
Swinnerton progress to be dramatic, observing “Several times the bonnet
was pointing where it should not”, and the Rover P4 of Robert and Susan
McClean actually caught fire in the base – fortunately not seriously,
and they blazed on.
All that remained was the refreshing sight of
the bar, the well deserved Presentation, and crews could relax for a
while… but not for too long… it will soon be 2005 and time for another
Rally of the Tests.
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